February follies

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So I’m watching a story on the 11 p.m. news about MaST Community Charter School’s competitive lottery for new applicants. The school had 99 spots for which 800 people applied. In some ways, this competition is on the level of Shirley Jackson’s famous short story “The Lottery.” If you fail to win a spot in MaST’s lottery, your child is consigned an inferior school (at least 800 folks feel that way). In Jackson’s story, the “winner” gets stoned to death. I’m not saying there is no difference between getting stoned to death and your child not getting into what some call the best school in Philadelphia. By the tears on the faces of the failed applicants, the disappointment seemed approximate.

Look at that news piece, and you get a whiff of the life of a school parent in this area. According to the news story, MaST is really good, in part, because of the high tech methods it employs, methods that apparently don’t fit within the public school budget. Hey, there is no budget in Pennsylvania. The existence of a budget lies in the figment of imagination by the Democratic governor and his polar opposite Republican legislators. Meanwhile, school parents have to pin their hopes on a lottery that will give their offspring a chance at a decent education. MaST gets funded out of the same system that can’t properly fund its own public schools. Disheartening.

Here is a nice bit of irony for you – Donald Trump gets ripped all the time for distorting the truth, but when he told the truth last week, the pundits shook their heads nervously and wondered whether it would hurt him with Republican primary voters. Trump finally got tired of hearing that as president, George W. Bush kept us safe. Actually, I got disgusted with this willful distortion of history by the Republican Party long before Trump. But I’m willing to overlook that fact in the sheer joy that Trump pointed out that 9/11 happened on Bush’s watch. Now I’m not saying there isn’t room for discussion on whether W. was at fault. The evidence seems to be he was given secret memos from his security advisor that all but hollered in his ear, “This Osama bin Laden fellow is devising a plan to attack the United States.” But it IS a fact that 9/11/2001 is a date on which George W. Bush, as Commander-in-Chief, presided over the security of the United States.

Try as they might, Republicans can’t move that date forward on to Obama’s watch. I watched with astonishment as the party faithful in the South Carolina audience shook their heads “no” as Trump insisted that Jeb’s brother did NOT keep us safe. One news guy on CNN worried whether this was a smart political strategy by Trump in a state that has so many military bases. Apparently, the truth will not necessarily set one free in South Carolina if it interferes with Republican political myths or one of retired football coach Steve Spurrier’s golfing outings.

The Philadelphia Daily News is reporting there were only eight ticket violations against bikers last year in the city. They must be the same eight riders who tried to run me over while I was walking on the sidewalk. I always thought bikers had to follow the same traffic rules as the rest of us (I’m a non-driver if that gets me any sympathy at all), but I fear not. At the risk that there are more bikers violating the rules and not getting ticketed than the ones who’ve gone after me like James Bond after a super villain, I urge a new biking rule. Only three-wheelers are allowed on sidewalks. I mean three-wheelers like the kind with the big basket in front that you see people like me riding on the Wildwood Boardwalk at 7 a.m. For years, folks that like to ride a nice, sturdy tricycle have been ridiculed. Some of us struggle with balance with just two wheels. Enact the “Trike” rule, and keep America free. Okay, reasonably free.

As you know by now, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia passed away two weeks ago. Wild rumors flew about the cause of his death (The National Enquirer headline accused Nancy Pelosi of poisoning Scalia’s favorite Burgundy). Pelosi appears on the cover of the tabloid wearing a black ninja outfit with a story written by Bill O’Reilly called “Who Killed Scalia?”

Judge Scalia, whom some Republicans claim now sits at the right hand of Ronald Reagan in the heavenly firmament, is known for claiming to be a strict constructionist. Some say Scalia could almost read the minds of those who wrote the Constitution. Understanding original intent was his specialty. It’s not evident in the case of Citizens United, however, how he learned that the original founders of our country knew about corporations back then and that when Patrick Henry said, “Give me liberty, or give me death,” he was actually talking about Wall Street’s right to freedom of speech.

On such memories is the History Channel built. Peace to Justice Scalia. Peace to the Supreme Court. And good luck to President Obama, who is nominating himself to the Supreme Court to fill the Scalia vacancy just so he can bug Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell into eternity.

So answer me this question. Except for Valentine’s Day, why is there a February? ■