Balthazar (Nicolas Cage), right, chooses Dave (Jay Baruchel) as his apprentice to help defeat the evil Horvath (Alfred Molina), left.
Never mind that Disney blatantly pats itself on the back with “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice,” flashing “Toy Story” props, tapping Nicolas Cage and director Jon Turtletaub to conjure up some “National Treasure”-sized box office, and building the whole movie around the centerpiece of a certain animated musical from the Walt vault. Never mind that the lead star, Jay Baruchel, comes off as an awkward hybrid of Screech Powers and McLovin with bad timing and a sinus infection. Never mind that even for a fantasy, the film defies logic. The real turn-off here is “Apprentice” hasn’t the slightest notion of nuance.
Beginning with a prologue that hoses you down with backstory, the script — credited to a whopping five people — is only interested in hustling the plot forward. No sooner do we meet 10-year-old misfit Dave than he stumbles into the New York hideout of Balthazar (Cage), a centuries-old sorcerer who within minutes declares Dave the chosen one he’s been searching for to combat the evil Horvath (Alfred Molina). Leap ahead a decade, and grown-up Dave (Baruchel) is given a required hottie love interest (Teresa Palmer), a gig as Balthazar’s pupil and a mission to save the world, but still only one dimension. Characterization? Emotional investment? Who has time for that?
The boorishness with which the movie lunges from point to point is without limit or shame, and to make room for yet more story steamrolling, some scenes are even cut while still in progress. There’s no complexity in a single conflict, and the rescue-at-the-last-minute card is pulled more times than a rabbit from a magician’s hat.
The few enjoyments to be had include the wizards’ use of Manhattan as a spell-casting playground, and Cage, who slips some actual acting in between the familiar old-world-meets-contemporary-pop-culture lines and uses his outsized Cage-isms for good instead of evil.
But there’s no getting past the sheer flatness of “Apprentice,” which is so busy barreling toward the next effects-filled development, it forgets to create any real magic.
The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
PG
Two reels out of four
Now playing in area theaters
Recommended Rental
The Runaways
R
Available Tuesday
In “The Runaways,” a fierce if formulaic drama about the groundbreaking girl group of the 1970s, Kristen Stewart plays a mean Joan Jett, but its her “Twilight” co-star Dakota Fanning who steals the show as drugged-up sexpot Cherie Currie.
Oscar nominee Michael Shannon co-stars in the little-seen film, directed by music video vet Floria Sigismondi.
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