1) Just what is there about the old year that makes you think the new one will be happy?
2) Do you think Alan Greenspan wears a silly hat and toots a horn on New Year’s Eve?
3) Isn’t the Mummers’ Parade really the Gay Pride Parade with string bands? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
4) Do folks get drunk on New Year’s Eve because they:
a) Hate their date?
b) Miss Guy Lombardo?
c) Fear Sarah Palin is getting ready to run for president?
d) All of the above?
5) If Texas and Alabama are playing for the National Championship Jan. 7, what the hell are all the other Bowl games about?
6) Do you know anyone who gets excited about the Parade of Roses in Pasadena?
7) Just how many people do you think will really have a “Happy” New Year?
8) Have we lost something as a nation when we trade Dick Clark for Ryan Seacrest?
9) How do you think we South Philadelphians decided on roast pork instead of turkey on New Year’s Day? Was it just the pig’s turn?
10) Is the fact New Year’s Day is a holy day of obligation requiring attendance at Mass just an example of the church’s finely tuned sense of irony?
11) If a person is bisexual, is their sex drive twice as strong or is it the same as everyone else’s except it’s split 50-50 between the sexes?
12) Are the Vegas odds higher that Allen Iverson makes it to practice on time or we really begin withdrawing troops from Afghanistan by July 2011?
13) If you’re an agnostic, do you get to celebrate all religious holidays or none of them? Maybe they’re not sure.
14) If gay marriage really threatens your straight marriage, did you ever consider you might be gay?
15) Why do we revile Tiger Woods and worship Derek Jeter? Answer: Tiger is married.
Article:
Change in scenery
Article:
The night Izzie died
Article:
South Philly landmarks
Article:
The corner hangers’ club
Article:
Cheers to The Capistrano
Article:
Prize-worthy pupils
Article:
Just sayin’
Article:
Mother’s Day 2012
1. Jim from NJ said... on Jan 4, 2010 at 12:59PM
“Great list! I was LMAO!!!!! When I saw Governor Rendell's name I thought you were going to write:
29) In 2010 will Governor Rendell spend more time at his job in Harrisburg or on the set of Post Game Live after Eagles' games???”